Watch This Broken Newscaster Describe the Long, Bleak Month of February

Despite being the shortest month, few would disagree that February is indicative of the cold march toward death. It's grey skies, cold wind, and slush-covered grounds make even the simplest tasks appear pointless, another distraction from the grim realities of life. 

Kevin Killeen of KMOX in St. Louis gives you the truth behind February, Father Time's cruel joke on humanity. In this segement, "Whole 'nother Story — February," Killeen delivers a harsh indictment of the calendar's worst, from the itchy skin to the lack of "tap dancin'" in the streets.

But, really, as he says, this broken umbrella says it all.



Killeen put it best:

"To try to hide the bleakness of February, man invented Valentine's Day and also Mardi Gras. But then February answered back with another holiday: Ash Wednesday. What other month could host holiday to remind us that we're all gonna die. That's February for you."

This is a real-life Groundhog's Day.